My secret. Uh.

I find it satisfying when streamers get angry and they start breaking shit. Eventually all the rage-complications gave me nothing, so I had to go straight to the source. It is technically harassment and I don't feel proud of it. But I have sinked a lot of money into trying to get a rise out of people. Eventually, I get kicked and blocked but I start another account and go through the process again. I even sometimes go onto 4chan and beg them to help me in my mental harassment of these people. And honesly, the 4chan people go farther than I do. I can't stop though. It's just so satisfying. I can take solace in the fact that I am not like these men, who get violet over video games. I have never broken anything while mad. Imagine what these men are like when the cameras are off. I am a good person who just does things that might be seen as bad.

My crowning achievement is when I somehow ended up in a lobby with a streamer. I kept bothering and messing with him. He was starting to do well until I ended up getting in his way and making him kill his character. He just started screaming into his mic and beating his set-up with his keyboard. The stream ended when he actually broke his computer with the keyboard.

I feel good and awful at the same time.